I'm gonna have a badass scar
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
