But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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