i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
