I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
