I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
