I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
