Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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