Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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