I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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