I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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