She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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