Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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(650): View more from California

on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.

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(208): View more from Idaho

why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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(352): View more from Florida

Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

(1-352): View more from Florida

What?

(352): View more from Florida

Just dont open the beer drawer.

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(646): View more from New York

Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit

(646): View more from New York

The facepaint not the blacking out

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.

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(585): View more from New York

I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...

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