great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
