I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
