Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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