Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Please, let me fuck your mom
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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