I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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