i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
