Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
