So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
