but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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