This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
