he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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