i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
