YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
