u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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