Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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