I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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