I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
