3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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