K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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