I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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