true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
