There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
