if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
