My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
