When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
