you guys were way drunker than both of me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
