If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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