remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
