he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
