i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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