is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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