I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We got so high we made milksteak
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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