Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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