Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
