need another drink. this is the easiest way
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
