It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
