why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
