Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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