When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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