I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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