We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
