Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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