i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
