Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
