I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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