The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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