i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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