we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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