THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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