I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize