Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
