He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
