ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
