i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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