If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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